One Of Those Moments...

Did you ever have anything happen to you that made you totally stop and think about the one thing most important to you? With our recent vacation at Primary Children's Hospital came that realization for us. Spending time with our kids is always high priority, but this little adventure has totally revamped our thoughts on just how important and precious that time really is. Not even sure how you would describe what was going on inside our heads, but HOLY COW!!! it's been a long MONTH!!!

The world around us might have well stopped...we would have never known the difference because our minds couldn't go anywhere else but where we were.

One day I was sitting there thinking about doing something on my computer and suddenly realized I had no idea what I was doing it for in the first place so why bother...(It was some artwork I had been working really hard at getting done for my glass etching business) I thought 'maybe I'll work on those pictures while I'm sitting here' and then thought 'I don't even know what I was going to use them for'. It was that moment that I realized, my priorities seem to have gotten mixed up along the way. Perhaps I should get them back into perspective. For now, I only had one, and my only focus in life was watching her complexion for color changes, watching her moods to offer comfort and support when spirits were down, or entertainment when they were up, and watching monitors in hopes of improvements.

Having the faith that we do, something kept telling me it would all be fine, but the difficult part was wondering 'what was going to happen next', 'what else could possibly go wrong', 'how much more could Bean take'?? Then I finally realized I should quit asking these questions, because every time I did.....something else got worse, or something new was wrong. I can honestly say, that was the worst 3 1/2 weeks of my life....hands down.....but the number of blessings that we received during that time are not even comprehendible.

When I heard all of the issues that were going on inside her body, I kept thinking...'couldn't we just have a miracle and fix all of this stuff...couldn't she just be better now???' It wasn't until after all of the scary stuff was over that I realized how scared we really should have been and it was then that I realized....there were many miracles along the way...we just didn't notice until later.

I remember listening to a blessing that Steve gave her when he said the doctors would find out what's wrong.....NO WAIT!! I remember feeling like I should panic when he was finished because I didn't want him to be done yet, I didn't want them to find more things wrong...he was supposed to bless her to be all better, lol. It was that day that they found the artery in her heart was leaking. (leaking into her chest cavity where she was slowly bleeding to death, aaahhh!!!) Thank goodness mom wasn't giving the blessing....and let me throw in the 'we're so greatful for the priesthood in our lives' quote here...and especially for Grandpa's faith.

I know we go through trials for a reason, and yes, they do make us stronger, but it's a good thing we have faith to get us through. I can't imagine being there all that time without the angels that surrounded us...I'm pretty sure there were a few holding me up. Jordan said she could feel Grandma there with her at times. (We knew she would be:))

There are stories written about the angels that watch over that hospital, well I am here to testify that there are certain places in that hospital that the spirit is stronger than I've ever felt it before, even from my experiences in the temple. When you can physically feel them next to you or embracing you....it's indescribable. 'Overwhelming' is probably the only word that fits.